It’s cold
It was windy today. Windy and cold.
The more I work and the more I come in contact with “the real world,” the more I stress myself out. I keep imposing impossible deadlines on myself that shouldn’t exist at all. Nobody is expecting these things of me and I have to allow myself a learning curve. It’s not like those I admire didn’t go through a similar learning curve before they got to be where they are today. Stop making things impossible for yourself.
Another completely unrelated thing is that I take very little pictures of myself. And very little pictures get taken of me. I just don’t hang around a lot of photo people, what can I say? I take a ton of pictures of everyone else but that’s what I am, the person behind the camera and that’s where I’m most comfortable. Some people are meant to be in front of the camera. Whether they shine in front of it, or they just happen to have friends who like to photograph them, they’re just meant to constantly be in front of the camera even if it’s not their desire to be. Funny how things work out.
That is the exact same thing I am told all the time by those around me.
-”Stop being so hard on yourself!” The feeling of great pressure comes more from the outside world. At home I am who I want to be and can imagine myself doing ANYTHING. But the “real world” breaks that confidence unless you know how to internalize it.
I don’t like having my picture taken either, I’d rather take the picture. :)
I relate to everything you wrote about in this post. I also set impossible deadlines and beat myself up about things that only I expect of myself such trying to get into graduate school. I was blessed with a wonderful family and friends that do not pressure me, so most of the pressure is self-imposed. Also photography is my hobby and although my friends tell me I am photogenic there aren’t many pictures of me but many that I have taken because I love taking pictures but hate having pictures taken of me.
poof, we got a blizzard yesterday (NJ), Pton gave us their first snowday in 14 years o.o
I meant oof. not poof. bah